Thursday, April 21

It works!

Yipee! This is great! So, I'm wanting to catalog this trip called having a baby....yikes.

So, we officially started TTC last night. I forgot to think that, over at least the next few months, (sorry to be crass, but....) I will feel like I'm constantly draining! Arg! NOW I remember why I liked condoms--uck.

Its been amazing, the research I've done in the last few weeks--its a whole world out there! There's discussion boards for everything. Phenomenal. The whole trying to get pregnant thing comes with its completely own vocabulary. I'm married to a DH, we do the BD while we are TTC, and always hoping AF doesn't show up. If she doesn't, I hope to get a BFP, but might get a BFN, which would of course mean, back to the BD. And I thought the military was bad for TLAs.

Didn't get to sleep until about 3am last night. This is b/c I decided to read the Newsweek article related to family health, and specifically, the part about kids and fitness. The DH and I've decided, since he's a Firefighter, that he'll be the "Nanny". So after reading the article, I start to obsess about what activities my child will be involved in. I don't think he realizes, once the kid is here, there's no more xbox, no more Union, no more fantasy baseball/football/basketball/kickball. I refuse to have my kid plopped in front of a TV as its babysitter.

So what do I do--well I wake the DH up of course! Duh! And immediately proceed to lovingly share my fears. "Dear, you're going to make an awful father" Yeah, that went over great.

Truthfully, as the wonderful man he is, we talked. He's so amazing. 1am and he's giving me complete attention, helping me work through my anxieties and fears. Like it was the middle of the afternoon. What a great guy. He'll make a great father.

Fear #1--what do you mean I'm supposed to gain weight? Dude, I'm already 205 on a 5'5" frame. Yeah right! I already need to lose 50lbs, and I'm supposed to gain and lose an additional 50?!?!? Are you people kidding me?!?! Jesus, I'm going to be the biggest, ugliest, fattest pregnant person ever. Sure, all the books say average is 25--not the people I've talked to! (People always say I don't look 205, "I carry it well". Yeah, they haven't seen me au naturel--nobody wants to see that!)

Fear #2--I haven't achieved what I want to achieve professionally. And once I have a kid, that's all over. Done. Game over. No more chances. I had my time, and I blew it. This one is still up for debate.

Fear #3--EVERYTHING. Made the mistake of buying a couple of pregnancy books. Dude, my body will never be mine again. I had my chance to enjoy it, and it will never be the same again, and I will never get to enjoy it again. There's alot of nevers in there.....

Truthfully, I feel immensely better after talking to the DH--I think we can really do this. Lunch with a good friend, along with some retail therapy, helped too. How is it, I pay $100/hr for a therapist, and yet a $5 lunch w/my friend does me ages more good? Hmm, note to self, rethink the therapist, pay friend $50 to listen to me whine.

I'm excited, I really really am. Finding awesome resources out there. Read somewhere that stroller manufacturers are marketing to dads with what got them in the situation in the first place, sex. Funny. Love the new Quinny, but out of my price range. Considering Mac 3, though it is discontinued for 05. Interested to see what they come out with.

A note on this blogging thing--I'm not nearly as witty as I had hoped. And blogging is definitely not for the spelling or grammar challenged. I'll try to not a) bore you or b) frustrate you. I'll try.

PS--shout out to daddytypes, check out the link. Awesome, love it, love the writing, love the product reviews, love the pop culture, love the links, love everything. Love it.


Post a Comment

<< Home