Status Update

Because I've already used "status" and "update" in titles before, I'm sure. Because I'm JUST THAT LAME.

So, no, no dice yet. Granted, I don't start for another five days or so, however, looking bleak. Boobs do hurt, but that's possibly PMS.

Went to the "nunnery" today--gained a half-pound. Great. Yipee. Also another sign that I am possibly quite the opposite of pregnant.

And oh yes, no, you're not hallucinating--changed my layout. In a classically "WTF???" move, couldn't figure out the HTML problem, so just trashed it and started all over. Time for a change anyhoo. And, gee, funny, blogger help never returned my request to review my html. I'm hurt.

Trying to figure out things to jazz it up a bit--web cam shots? Current weather? Cutsy images? Suggestions?

Hey folks, that's what the comments link is for! And its anonymous!!

Eh, well, it was worth a shot.

PS--about cried when Greg read this to me last night. Absolutely hysterical.

Oh? And all my dreams have finally come true--blogger has added an "image" upload option, yay, I can stop hosting them on Flickr, though I kind of liked it. Hmm, might keep it, we'll see if they freak about sizes or something....

Because you're not that lucky

Apparently, my idea isn't novel (duh, knew that already). But, I will tell you right now--I will never, ever end up being published. I am NOT THAT GOOD. And because you all love me and care about me, you will read my horrible mushily written, non-pithy musings anyway. Because you're Just Not That Lucky to have a friend/relative/sister that can actually WRITE.

If you want decent writing, or heck, to be able to just see comments from others on the writing, visit the blogs listed on the right of this page.

Or get this guys book:

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/229965_baby27.html

I think I'll start leaving myself comments, so I can feel loved.

And btw, what the heck is wrong with my html??!?!?! Don't understand it...so consider this the disclaimer. Sorry.

Abdul pleads with "open heart and selfless agenda" for toughening health standards

In yet another unabashed abuse of their position of celebrity to further their own political agendas and garner coverage of their own pet projects.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/aptv_story.asp?category=1401&slug=Safer%20Nail%20Salons&dpfrom=th

Because I'm just that nice. Found it for y'all while looking for the above article, under "Top Headlines"--I think the P-I needs to re-format their algorithm.

the WAIT

So, I peed on a stick this morning. I peed on a stick Sat morning too. Nothing. Nada. Nope. Zero. Zilch. Not even a blush.

I think I'm going to scream.

I swear--if it doesn't happen this month, I'm going to be PISSED.

I swear, everybody I know is pregnant, can have a kid, has just had a kid, whatever, EXCEPT ME.

I SWEAR!!!

So, if I surged the 20th, that means I probably ovulated 21st or 22nd. If it was the 22nd, I guess that would only put me 5 days past. Well, okay, I guess I'll be a little more patient. But only a little. Hmph.

Oh, and btw--I'm done with the Really Annoying Acronyms. Like DPO, O'd (come on...there's only one O, and ovulation ain't it!), and DH--his name is Greg y'all. GREG.

If you are going to miss them--tough--get over it.

Feel the sURGE

So, yes, unfortunately, last month was a bust. Is it seriously June 20th already? I can't freaking believe it, and I can't freaking believe I started this in April. Wow.

So, no worries, 'cause the DH and I are armed to the teeth this time around. We're armed and prepared for battle!

So, decided to pick up an OPK this time. That's Ovulation Predictor Kit for you normal, non-preconception-board-lurking, actual life-living people. And, yes, to answer all my wildest fantasies IT TOO is a POAS!!! (pee-on-a-stick, though you should know that from my previous posts, you non-reader you). Yipee! Who knew that, no matter what time of the month it is, there's a stick to pee on--yay!!!

So, I've been, hem, taking the test since Sat am. They're a little hard to read however. But it said, if the line is the same color or darker than the control line, you are a surgin'! So, even if I can barely see the control line--but the indicator line is the same color--I call that a game!

A quick primer--OPKs apparently detect your Lutinizing Hormone. The LH is what triggers ovulation, and it surges right before you ovulate. The package says, if you do the BD within 24-36 hours YOU WILL BECOME PREGNANT. Well, it doesn't say that exactly, but, that's what I'm interpreting it as. Who knew you could project onto an inanimate object?

So, as of this am, I am surging!!! Yay!! Ooh, and we also bought this special lubrication--apparently things like KY and Vaseline inhibit motility--don't need none o' that! So, had the DH stop and buy some PreSeed. Woohoo! Let the good times begin! (note--only b/c apparently, this "on demand" thing is actually getting a little tiring for him! Shock. Wah--welcome to MY world!)

And I thought I'd be done with Chem Lab in College. Sorely mistaken, I was.

Speaking of, egads, I must be off, it is the witching hour! Wish us luck! :)

Fungus Among Us

Wow--so after reading this article on "Embryo Adoption," what really struck me is, holey crap, those people are from here.

"With another program, to be honest with you, they could have been adopted
by lesbian parents, and I'm totally against that," said Mr. Deacon, 35.

It took two and a half years to bring themselves to fill out the
papers. On their forms, they said the adopting family must be conservative
Christians and, ideally, include a stay-at-home mother.

The Others--they're here. And they've infiltrated--they look just like us, live in our neighborhoods, have our jobs, go to school with our kids. You never know when you might be talking to one of Them.

Awesomely, A Little Pregnant has a fabulous commentary and discussion. At least I know I'm not the only one freaked out. Also has a list of options besides the evil "evangelical eugenic" SnowFlake empire.

Which raises an interesting point....do They get uglier b/c of their association with the Dark Side? Might make 'em easier to spot.

Get thee to a Nunnery

Or, practically the same thing really. So, I hied my(big, fat ass)self back to Weight Watchers. But this time, I dragged along the DH. That's right--made him go! This was for a couple reasons a) WW teaches very good nutritional information and eating habits and b) I want him to FEEL THE PAIN right along with me! And, heck, he could lose 10lbs, it wouldn't kill him.

Watching him has been hilarious! I should have known, he would glom onto the whole points thing! He loves it--this is the man that relaxes each night by balancing the checkbook. However, no, I do NOT know how many points are in one stinking gummy bear!

At the very least, I need to keep an eye on my weight--I truly want to try to not gain any--I'm 50 lbs overweight, so I don't need to gain any! Apparently, however, this is a VERY controversial topic. Everywhere I read/look its all "now's not the time to worry, take care of your baby, blah blah". In talking to one of my MDs though, he doesn't see anything wrong with actually losing weight, as long as the baby gets its nutrition/what it needs. He, actually though, wants me to postpone and lose the weight first. Yeah, right. No way Jose! I'll suffer and wait.

As much as I want to maintain or lose though, according to my MD, apparently the real problem will be keeping me from eating an entire house. So, my resolve is a little down.

I'm thinking about a nutritionist, thinking about exercise, thinking about asking the OBGyn.

But for now, I'll just keep adding up my points.

Reading....

So, I promised a review of Fearless Pregnancy. Very cute, but again, not real meaty. However, it got the job done. It really drove home that, hey, millions of people in the world, doing millions of different things, and yet, we're not a world full of crazies. (Actually, wait....) So, I actually do feel better.

Also wanted to review Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn, or as I like to call it How Dare you Poison Your Baby With Pain Meds, you WHIMP. It is really saying something that, I am doing this review without having even finished the book yet--seriously, I've actually read the entire Narnia series as a "break" from this book. Apparently, it is a little co-dependent, I needed a break and can't bring myself to go back.

Now, when I say meaty, this is meaty! My god its thick! And not physically--its truly a lot to read and take in! It goes extremely in-depth into the labor/childbirth portion, and is actually a really good resource for that--I swear at least 400 pages are devoted to labor/birth, the process, positions, etc. alone! But that's not what I'm interested in right now. In addition, this book makes you feel like ONLY WHIMPS must take drugs for childbirth. Written by people from the Childbirth Education Association of Seattle. Aha--there's the problem right there. I was reading something written by liberals. Sheesh!

I'll let you know if I actually finish it. So far, the only thing driving me to finish is getting to the part that talks about drugs. I know--only fools dream...

Read My Lips--No More New Projects

So, some of you may recall the strange affair of the Phantom of the....oh wait, wrong story.

HOWEVER, you might recall some of my earlier posts ranting about the porch, and how much of a royal PAIN it was! (More Info and Arg...) Well--long overdue here are pictures to prove IT IS DONE!!!!


Before....




After!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Yipeee!!! We've had the party, (boy did we ever!) and celebrated privately (went to Met Grill--saw celebrities!). I'm so excited its finally DONE. Just wanted to post and share...since I knew all of you were wondering with baited breath!

The new edict is now "Read My Lips--No More New Projects" to which, I say pshaw. I know me better than that! :)

Loving/Hating

Loving--the sun and return to normalcy of my daily life. Its been fun, but whew I'm worn out! :)

Hating--don't come knockin' if the house is a rockin'--or shakin' for that matter!!! The whole house is I swear about to fall off its foundation--they're doing something across the street that is making this place vibrate like--well, the house just hasn't seen this much action in a long time, sheesh! I can't wiat until they're done over there. ugh. Parking, dust, noisy machines. It would probably be way cooler if I had a toddler son, but now it is only THAT WHICH ANNOYS.

A Little Sad

Realized I haven't been on in a while. Amazing what happens when you actually have WORK that needs to be done! :) So, my biggest apologies--several posts to come for you.

Anyhoo, a little sad b/c AF is supposed to visit today. So, I took a PG test last Thursday, and got an extremely extremely faint positive. Seriously, really faint! I had to show my sister to make sure I wasn’t seeing things! And it was the second pee of the day. So, I thought, yay! I’ll double-check tomorrow w/the first pee, and it should be strong!

Well, no such luck. Nothing, nada. That was Friday am. I thought, well, maybe its too early. But ran it again sat and sun am as well—still nothing. And Sunday I double-dipped—I used two tests, each a different brand, just to be sure they weren’t faulty. Nope, still nothing.

And yes, I’m a POAS-addict (that’s Pee On a Stick).

So, I’m a little sad, since it doesn’t look like it took this time. And then some nice person mentioned maybe its b/c of my weight. Gee, thanks.

So, it hasn't started yet, but I'm not holding my breath. I'll keep you posted.